Honestly, Vanessa

I was made to believe that success meant constantly pushing. Work more. Late nights. More of proving myself.

Society has made it feel normal to always be tired, always on the go, always chasing the next best thing. Like if you weren’t exhausted, you aren’t doing enough and people are now judging you.

I’ve never been the hustle bustle “boss babe” type of woman. It always felt like it went against my nature.

And honestly, this was a trigger for why my ex boyfriend abused me. He did not respect me.

I didn’t fit the role he wanted. He wanted a “boss babe” who was always busy, always working, always distracted.

Someone so caught up in hustle culture that he could be sneaky, chat with whoever, and do shady things without being noticed.

When I wasn’t that woman, he made me feel small for it. He constantly berated me and belittled me.

He used to call me a bum because I was creative instead of something he considered “serious,” like a nurse or a corporate career.

In a way, it mirrored how my mom used to see me too, like my dreams weren’t practical or valuable enough.

But the truth is, I never wanted a stressful boss babe life that revolved around constant pressure. I do not excel under high pressure anyway.

I wanted to be a mother and housewife who lived a very cozy life. Even a novel writer too. Still a creative of course telling stories.

Those roles spoke to me, they felt natural. They feel more aligned with my femininity and who I am at my core.

For a long time, I was made to feel like that made me lazy, unrealistic, or less than.

Now I see it differently.

I wasn’t weak for not fitting hustle culture. I was listening to my instincts.

I was choosing a life rooted in presence, creativity, nurturing, and meaning, long before I had the language for it.

And I’m finally honoring that part of myself instead of apologizing for it.

My husband wears so many hats. Provider. Lawyer. Motivational Speaker. Community Leader. Humanitarian. Father. Husband.

A lot of travel. Responsibilities on responsibilities. And like so many people, he pushes through stress like it is normal. I’m not going to lie, his lifestyle stresses me out sometimes. Just the thought of it.

One night, during an argument with a client, his blood pressure shot up dangerously high, the kind doctors warn can lead to a heart attack or a stroke.

I noticed something different.

He had a painful migraine, the kind he usually gets, but this one lasted ALL DAY and no painkiller could alleviate it. That scared me. Something in me knew something wasn’t right.

I had bought a wrist blood pressure monitor about a month before, because I had a feeling I’d need it eventually with his lifestyle.

I checked his pressure.

And sure enough, it was sky high.

That moment was a wake-up call for both of us.

It doesn’t just make you tired. It breaks the body down.

And honestly (dark humor incoming), I told him hustle culture might take him out before the enemies of Islam ever could.

We laughed. Because that’s our humor.

But the message was real.

Since then, we’ve both been more intentional about slowing down, managing stress, resting, and protecting our peace.

One of the biggest things is reconnecting with nature. It’s time to touch some grass.

We’ve become so disconnected from the natural world.

From sunlight, fresh air, seasons and slowing down.

Our bodies were designed to move with nature, not against it.

Now my husband tries to intentionally spend time outside. Even simple things, sitting in the patio and/or sun, walking barefoot on grass, and taking slow walks with our daughter.

Even taking some time to listen to the sound of birds chirping and the wind blow instead of scrolling mindlessly.

It sounds small, but it’s powerful. Nature regulates our nervous system.

The more we can reconnect with it, the calmer we feel. The clearer our mind is. The less rushed life feels.

Breaking free from hustle culture isn’t just about working less.

It’s about returning to the rhythms we were always meant to live by.

As for me, I’m in a different season. I’m not burning myself out trying to be productive.

I will always choose health, presence, and a slower life that actually feels good. I love it here and don’t get me wrong. I have big dreams.

I’m still building my clinical practice and educational website, I’m creating courses, almost like an online school.

I’m also working on publishing my first book through my husband’s publishing company to help challenge the propaganda and misinformation around holistic medicine.

My long-term projects really matter to me. But I’m doing it slowly… I don’t want to feel pressure or the fear of falling behind. I crave balance and peace.

And I also want to return to the stories I started years ago, the ones I never finished. Some of them have been sitting with me for over a decade. I think I’m finally ready to come back to them and actually complete a novel.

Some days I work a lot, some days I rest more. Some days my focus is my kids, my home, and my own healing.

And that’s okay.

I’ve learned that rushing everything doesn’t make it better, it just makes it heavier.

I’ve also been working on accepting help from others which was always difficult for me. I’ve connected with people from my holistic wellness schools and we support each other and collaborate. It’s reminded me how important community really is.

Hustle culture teaches us to compete and to isolate.

To carry everything ourselves, but healing cultures have always been built around community.

I’m building a life that won’t burn me out five years from now and I’m choosing a pace my nervous system can handle.

Another part of this slower season has been wanting to learn more about my faith.

Islam isn’t just something you practice on certain days, it’s a full way of life. And the more I slow down, the more I realize how much there is to learn, reflect on, and understand.

So many people only know Islam through headlines, propaganda, and tons of misinformation.

Even some Muslims grow up practicing without ever really diving into the depth, the wisdom, and the beauty behind it.

I want to change that for myself.

I want to learn with intention and not just during Ramadan.
I want to truly understand, not just follow routines.

To grow spiritually the same way I’m growing emotionally and physically.

Peace isn’t just in rest or laziness. Rest isn’t failure. And slow growth is still growth.

This season of my life isn’t about grinding, it’s about living well while building what I love.

And for the first time, success actually feels peaceful.