Honestly, Vanessa

I don’t know why people still act shocked when couples who constantly post perfect, curated, “so in love” photos end up breaking up.

Most of the time, the signs are right there.

The more something needs to be proven online, the more fragile it usually is in real life.

Healthy relationships are busy living.
Unhealthy ones are busy performing.

Instead of working through problems privately, they cover them with cute captions. Instead of intimacy, they chase perception.

The relationship isn’t being nourished.
It’s being displayed.

And anything that lives for appearance eventually cracks.

Social media doesn’t just change how we share life.
It changes how we experience it.

People slowly turn themselves into brands.

The perfect mom. The healed girl. The spiritual one. The activist. The power couple. The aesthetic life.

Once you build an online identity, ego now feels a lot of pressure to protect it. You can’t evolve naturally or struggle too much. You can’t contradict the image or show the messy parts either.

So instead of growing, people perform.

And lifestyle photography normalized this staged authenticity.

Perfectly messy kitchens. Fake laughter. Curated family moments. Choreographed affection.

Moments that look spontaneous but were planned, posed, edited, and lit. It’s not life. It’s a production.

And we end up comparing our real lives to someone else’s photoshoot.

Our brains weren’t built to consume thousands of highlight reels a day.

So suddenly normal life feels like it’s not enough and ego turns everything into a scoreboard.

Who’s happier. Who’s prettier. Who’s richer. Who’s more healed.

And no one ever feels like they’re winning.

This is why I hide a lot of my blessings and even wear a niqab online or don’t show myself wearing makeup or my body, to protect myself.

Another side people don’t talk about enough is how trauma interacts with social media.

Some people overshare because their nervous system is seeking comfort, connection, and reassurance.

Pain becomes content. You’ll see people crying their eyes out and posting themselves online. Healing becomes storytelling. Struggles become engagement.

And I’ll be honest, I’ve done this too.

Back when “story time” videos were a trend on YouTube, I joined in and shared very personal trauma that should’ve never been shared with the world.

I made myself vulnerable to strangers and ended up handing my enemies ammunition to use against me.

To judge me.
To twist my story.
To try to tear me apart.

I’ve learned to use social media very differently after those experiences.

Another type of ego pattern shows up in activism and religion online too.

Sometimes people truly care about what’s happening in different parts of the world. But a lot of the time, it turns into performance.

Posting replaces action. Some people will post nonstop but never donate, volunteer, educate themselves deeply, or support in real ways.

Because the ego gets its reward from attention, not uncomfortable work that actually creates change.

And again, this doesn’t mean everyone is fake or doesn’t care. Many people genuinely do.

But social media has turned even compassion into content.

And in Muslim spaces especially, you see the rise of the “haram police.”

People publicly correcting, judging, humiliating, and calling others out for every small thing.

Not always to guide, but to feel morally superior because outrage and righteousness get rewarded with attention. If you wanted to correct or advise someone sincerely, you would do it in private.

So social media becomes a battleground instead of a space for growth.

We’ve never been more “connected” and yet more lonely.

People keep posting more to fill the gap which feeds ego more and deepens the emptiness.

Now social media isn’t evil, but it just magnifies ego, insecurity, comparison, and performance.

And illusion always cracks.

Life isn’t aesthetic, love shouldn’t be content, healing isn’t supposed to be a brand and worth isn’t measured in likes.

The more we remember that, the freer we become.